Suspected zombie outbreak in Melbourne

1 05 2010

Warning: We have a possible patient zero

(Image: xkcd)

I hope this new-fangled national health reform has some sort of measures that prevent the dead just up and walking out into the streets and cause the zombie apocalypse.

To be fair, Mr. Thornton is still speaking, however may be deluded as he still professes disbelief in his death despite documents clearly stating otherwise. He may not be a zombie, perhaps a vampire or post-mortem deity?

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Critters and chainsaws

30 08 2009

Ah… the internet:

Image credit: Snazzy llama pic by complicated combination of Laurie Pink, Lispencie and others… [Creative Commons]





Pandemic is not a synonym for crisis

1 06 2009

…necessarily. In this case it’s more SNAFU.

I read this weekend’s Sunday Herald during lunch today. There was a double page spread on the growing “Swine Flu Crisis!” (251 Infected!*).

While I’m not sure if this graph is actually based on real figures, it does put the pandemic in perspective:
song chart memes
see more Funny Graphs

The threat of Mexican flu is quite relative. This strain may only turn out as bad as regular flu. But regular flu isn’t something to sniff at. Each year influenza occurs on a pandemic scale, this kills about 250,000 – 500,000 worldwide. So when the health authorities are saying “this is just like seasonal influenza”, they may be quite right to downplay the threat, but there is still a threat – SNAFU.

Was that enough mixed messages?

 

Hattip for GraphJam: Cheshire

*It’s now over 300, but didn’t reach 800. Either Mexican flu (or the testing labs) took the weekend off, or it’s possibly slowing down.





Worst. Chick Tract. Ever.

29 12 2008

I don’t know how well that claim will hold up. The Chick Publication Library has quite some shockers linking anything it can with the devil. The Usual Suspects include D&D, Evilution, Communism, and those Muslims. with their silly “moon god”.

But Jack appears to have found a new target with the Jolly Man in the Big Red Suit. Yes, Virginia, believing in Santa Claus will get you sent to hell. PZ has good screen caps and some other commentary.

The story centers around a nice young lad who when he is told Santa isn’t real goes all ninja – he flips out and kills people.

No.

Really.

He flips out. And kills people. Over Santa Claus.

yah-srsly

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Think of the children

8 11 2008

New Humanist has its annual BAD FAITH poll open for crashing.

The list is full of burning stupid. But burning stupid really is not enough these days.

Only one nominee really stands out as a despicable abomination worthy of complete and utter scorn.

The Governors of St. Monica’s

Other people are on the list for saying something silly to atheists, believing dinosaurs walked with people, or getting some old dude’s book banned. The Governor’s have done something much worse.

They have blocked preventative medicine from reaching children.

That’s right. A vaccine was developed that reduces young women’s risk of cervical cancer tremendously, and yet these bastards have told doctors they can not give it to their students. Why?

Because without the threat of cancer their students will become sluts. There’s strong faith in human conviction there.

The idiocy is that it’s not like there is HIV, gonnorhea, siphilis, and a whole host of other nether-region nasties they can fall back on to scare young ones celibate. (But, don’t worry us godless medical scientists are working on cures for those too).

These horrible people are supposed to be looking after the children in their care. They wouldn’t ban dentist vans because they encourage kids to eat too many sweeties. Or would they?

People who let children get lethal diseases are scum. It’s pretty simple choice really.

Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter are leading on reputation alone. And some crackpot Islamic creationist is third just because he pissed of Richard Dawkins. Go over, have a scan of the contenders and vote for someone who is really evil.





Sex, what is it good for?

28 10 2008

(Maybe the single life is getting to me…)

Humans often look at things from a very human point of view. It’s really not that surprising, but it can lead to somewhat linear thinking.

Such as linear concepts regarding evolution. You know that horrendous version where by everything lines up towards a singularity (usually us): from amoebas to fish to lizards to rats to monkeys to us. It sounds like some twisted video game-esque parody really.

Along with opposable thumbs, the development of bonking has been paraded as a major leap forward in evolution. But why then does most life on earth today reproduce by non-sexual means?

The whole myth of sex being all that and then some begins, like many mythconceptions on evolution with high-school. We learn that sex was developed as a way of maximising genetic variation. You get genes from Mummy AND Daddy. This means offspring made from sex are ultimately more likely to be fitter than asexually reproducing species and therefore sex is the best thing before and after, and possibly during, sliced bread.

BOLLOCKS!

Sex is not a mechanism for maxmising fitness through evolution – particularly in a sense of strength, toughness and all-round better-er-ness. Sex is the slippery path to a shallow and superficial future. All sex really cares about good looks. When selective pressure rises, keeping up appearances is all that counts†. Even in yeast.

In order to pass genes onto the next generation, an asexual organism must prove its worth by surviving in its environment long enough to gather the resources necessary to create its own offspring: all… by… itself. That takes guts*, people. That’s why some of the biggest hard-asses around are asexual – Anthrax, Thermus aquaticus, and black tip sharks. They have to fight for their right to … well not party

When you introduce sex, evolution changes from this romper stomper red in tooth and claw deathmatch to a Miss Universe pagent. Previous gen-pool lifeguard Gunn. Sgt. Hartmann has been replaced by Paris “That’s Hot” Hilton.

All a sexual reproducing species has to do is be suave enough to get someone up the duff**. After that you can run away and die. Everything after the “act” is generally no consequence. Incidentally, that’s why elephants starve to death in old age (which we’ve already covered).

I’m envisaging some sort of bizarre reverse frog-prince scenario on the horizon. Although when I look at some old people, I wonder if perhaps we are already there?

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Are you a survivor?

23 10 2008

Mmmmmrrgh…

Interactive zombie survival horror.

Oh it makes my day.

I died 8 times before making it through.

Poor Jimmy didn’t stand a chance.

Via somewhere on needcoffe.com